Spitball Army

I can barely stand it anymore.

Turn on your TV set to any channel discussing politics or current affairs and, within minutes, you will hear someone contrasting Wall Street with Main Street.  The phrase ‘Main Street’ has become shorthand for small business, everymen, and small-town America.  Not to mention every other person that doesn’t happen to be a Big Financial Power Broker.  I just heard ‘Main Street’ used three times by two different people in the last few minutes on MSNBC.

It’s even worse when that sloganeering is appropriated by the handful of people shilling for our votes.  Two of them will be on TV tonight, having what is generally referred to as a debate.  But tonight’s debate is going to be less a discussion of substance, and more a sideshow, a media circus, with the resultant flubs and sound bites circulating across the internet and airwaves for weeks to come.  Hopefully, I am wrong.  But history and experience suggests that it will be theatrical politics, as usual.

And, certainly, Joe Biden and Sarah Palin will make excessive use of the phrase ‘Main Street,’ as the economy will be a point of discussion.  I will be cringing every time they say it.

To ease my pain, and because I feel deprived for never having played the game “Hi, Bob!” I have a plan.  There is a sealed bottle of Cuervo Especial tequila in my booze locker.  It will be next to me tonight at 8:00, along with a squeaky clean shot glass.  Every time that someone in tonight’s debate utters ‘Main Street,’ be it Biden, Palin or moderator Gwen Ifill, I will take a shot.  I promise.

Will you take the challenge?