Spitball Army

What on earth are our underpaid teachers, laboring in the vineyards of education, supposed to tell students about the following sentence, committed by the serial syntax-killer from Wasilla High and gleaned by my colleague Maureen Dowd for preservation for those who ask, “How was it she talked?”

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Chili in a bowl

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The clever folks at 23/6, who created the condensed version of the Presidential debates, have done the same to Keith Olbermann’s “special comments.” Olbermann fires off the occasional show-closing tirade whenever something is seriously stuck in his craw, and it makes for great theatre every time. This condensed version dispenses with the message and serves up 60 seconds of vitriol. You’ll love it.

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I know that it is completely silly, but ever since I got wrapped up – again – in the political frenzy of another campaign season, I have been waiting for these two to appear at the same time on one of these shows.

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A foul and fetid substitute
for the pleasures given of nature

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4:14 p.m. CST
Election Day
4 November 2008
Birmingham, Alabama

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So, the election is over, and you’re watching the results. Or you’re eager to put two years of presidential politics behind you, but wonder how much of it is still stuck in your giant brain. How does a quiz sound?

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I thought I’d get to the polling place by 6:00 a.m. and be the first in line, or close to the first. Then, last night, it dawned on me that I would have the privilege of waiting just as long at the #1 position as I would at #56. So I take my time getting to the community school polling place, arriving at around 6:20. Coffee mug in hand, I step into the line. I am indeed #56.

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The Birmingham News’ John Archibald writes a thrice-weekly column of opinion, most often about the happenings at Birmingham’s City Hall and the Jefferson County Commission. His writing is usually pointed, insightful and well-reasoned if, at times, a melodramatic match for the political histrionics he’s observing. Today’s “Archiblog,” as his column is called, veered unpredictably toward the illogical.

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I will not sleep through Election Day. I will not sleep through Election Day. I will not sleep through Election Day. I will not sleep through Election Day. I will not sleep through Election Day. I will not sleep through Election Day. I will not sleep through Election Day. I will not sleep through Election […]

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