Spitball Army

Mr. James’ minders have amped up their editing prowess on this ad: no awkward downward glances (sorry, @Bureaucratist!).  This one’s entitled “Safe.”

Did the James’ just ask if I wanted to be one of their kids, then talk to me about sex offenders?  Hmm.  If so, I think I’ll just take a pass, thanks.

Card is titled: “Hansom Cab, 1900, U.S. National Museum, Smithsonian Institution.  Smithsonian Institution, Washington, D.C. – Free Post Cards for Service Men.”

Text of written message on back of postcard:

Monday 11/9/42

Dear Mom, Paul & Julia

Received the newspaper and picture of future car – sure would like to have one – when do they come out.  Worked yesterday, still busy and will be busy for next 3 days – will try and write you and long letter one of these nights.  It looks according to paper that this war has realy still, and hope it is over in next few month.  I’m getting tired of this life – at least that is the way I feel today.  That new car is OK sure hope we will be able to buy one after war.

Regards
CKaiser

Publishing information: Genuine Curteich-Chicago “C.T. Photo-Finish” Post Card (eg. U.S. Pat. Off.).

Approximate playing time: 78 minutes.

1. Ed Harcourt  “Killed by the Morning Sun” (live on KEXP)  (2010)
2. Dan Auerbach  “When the Night Comes”  (2009)
3. Tim Buckley  “Once I Was”  (1967)
4. Laura Veirs  “Little Deschutes”  (2010)
5. Mark Knopfler  “Rudiger”  (2005)
6. The Folk Implosion  “Easy”  (2003)
7. Elvis Costello  “Kid About It”  (1982)
8. Nick Lowe  “Mess Around With Love”  (1983)
9. Led Zeppelin  “Tangerine”  (1970)
10. Lizz Wright  “Thank You”  (2008)
11. Fred Neil  “Just a Little Bit of Rain”  (1965)
12. Jimmy Jones  “Yesterday’s Mistakes”  (1970)
13. Bobby Womack  “Communication”  (1971)
14. Lewis Taylor  “The Way You Done Me”  (2000)
15. Prince  “The Word”  (2006)
16. Little Jerry Williams  “I’m the Lover Man”  (1964)
17. Three Bips & a Bop, with Babs Gonzales  “Professor Bop”  (1949)
18. Don Byron  “Charley’s Prelude”  (1996)
19. Cowboy Junkies with Ryan Adams  “200 More Miles”  (2007)
20. Pink Floyd  “The Great Gig in the Sky”  (1973)

[audio:Fred_FM_playlist_050210.mp3]
Fred FM playlist (2 May 2010)

Some notes on the songs:

• Ed Harcourt’s “Killed by the Morning Sun,” here in a radio studio solo live take, will be featured in all the full-production glory one might expect from Mr. Harcourt in his upcoming album, Lustre.  The waiting (until July, I have read), is killing me.
• “The Great Gig in the Sky” is still tough to beat for sheer rock & roll drama.  Sorry to have ripped it out of the body of Dark Side of the Moon like this, but don’t you think it stands on its own quite well?
• When I went to see what Fred Neil I had on hand, after last week’s nod to him via the Linda Ronstadt cover, I found that I have about five times more versions of his songs by others than by Fred himself.  And yet another music research project gets added to my long list…
• I can’t hear Tim Buckley singing “Once I Was” without thinking about the film Coming Home.
• Led Zeppelin double-header, Pinto.

[Written to Alice in Frankfort, Indiana. Return addressed: Richard, Co. G, 2nd Bn., 1st Mar., c/o F.P.O., San Francisco, Calif. Postmarked at U.S. Navy, on 20 Nov 1944, A.M. Envelope stamped on front, “Passed by Naval Censor,” and initialed by the Censor.]

Nov. 16, 1944

Hello Sweetheart,

     So you think that seven weeks is a long time to go without any word.  Well, I can do you two weeks over that.  I thought I would never hear from you.  I still can’t understand why you haven’t got my pressent address.  I won’t worry about that, though, just as long as I hear from you.  The address isn’t the part I want to read.

     You know, Sweetheart, I almost have to drive myself to write.  For the last week, I’ve been writting almost all day here in the office and I don’t even like to pick up my pen.  Right now I have to stop every other sentence to keep from getting a cramp in my hand.  I’d rather just relax and think about you.  That’s what I enjoy most.  But, I’ll never get a letter written if I do too much of that.  I’ve been doing too much dreaming and not enough writting as it is.  I’ll have to cut that out.  I know how much your letters mean to me and I rather imagine it works the other way around too.

     You asked what to send me.  Well, I can tell more about what not to send.  That doesn’t help much, does it?  I can tell you one thing though.  I’d like to have a glass mirror.  Do you remember the mirror in my kit?  It’s broken and I’d like to have another one on that order.  I want one that will stand up.  If you can get your hands on one to send me, be sure it packed good enough.  I sure would hate to get a broken mirror.  Don’t worry about sending me cigarettes.  I know how hard they are to get back there.  That isn’t a good enough reason for you though, is it?  Well, I Let me finish.  I can get all the cigarettes I want at 5¢ a pack.  I buy them 2 cartons at a time and all the trouble I have is the standing in line at the PX.  Oh yes, don’t send me any stationery.  The climate is so “wet,” all the envelopes would be stuck tight before I would get to use them.  D No doubt you have noticed my other envelopes.  You can see that I had to tear them open.

     Pardon me while I give long, loud horse laff.  Those island females you mentioned, I am yet to see my first one.  No natives live on this island.

     The Chester I mentioned is my buddy.  I never introduced you to him, but I pointed him out in the USO one night.  Remember?  About the Shellback – it’s just one of those groups consisting of men that have done a certain thing.  This is a title held by those that were duly initiated when crossing the equator.  The initiation is something like a Frat “Hell Week” compressed into one afternoon.  It wasn’t so bad and I had a lot of fun out of it.  Now, I hope I’ll get to break in some new members.  At the pressent, I can’t figure any way to work it.  Everybody here had to cross the equator the same as I did.

     Yes, I finally got paid.  In fact, here it is.  It’s not much for 5 months work, is it?  Put it in the bank with the rest of it.  You’ll soon be able to get that apartment, won’t you?  I can hardly wait till you get moved even if I won’t be there.

     Well, here I am again.  I didn’t get to finish this last night as you can see.  I had to go into the next tent for light and there was too much talking going on.  Now I’m back in the same tent using the same lantern and as long as the other guys are writting letters, I should make out all right.

     This makes me very unhappy.  I want to write you but there are two draw-backs.  I don’t feel like writting and I can’t think of anything that I want to say.  I doubt if this letter makes any sense; I’m afraid to read it.  I quit. – till I fell feel like writting.  Then it won’t make me mad.

     Good-night Sweetheart – I love you with all my heart.  Pleasant Dreams.  ‘Nite  x x

There must be video out there on the interwebs somewhere, but until I find it, this transcript must do.  The transcript for the Countdown with Keith Olbermann show which aired on Thursday, 29 April 2010 – made available on the MSNBC website – is tagged that it is a ‘rush transcript,’ and thus may contain some errors.  Can you spot them?  (Hint: I can’t.)

OLBERMANN:  Here’s one I haven‘t seen before, but I’m told this is a hoot too.  This is the Tea Party candidate for governor of Alabama on the subject of English only.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TIM JAMES, CANDIDATE FOR GOVERNOR OF ALABAMA:  Why do our politicians make us give driver’s license exams in 12 languages?  This is Alabama.  We speak English.  If you want to live here, learn it.  We’re only giving that test in English if I’m governor.  And it makes sense.  Does it to you?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

OLBERMANN:  Well, to be—to be—I’m sorry, every once in a while, the accent on one of these guys, I just can’t penetrate it.  Thank goodness we don’t have an official language or anything, they probably wouldn’t allow that guy into Arizona.   I caught that one part about Ali Baba.  Is he going to tell us the story of the 40 thieves?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

Has Tim James switched his party affiliation from Republican to Tea?  No (not yet anyway).

And what’s with the dig on the Southern accent, Keith?  Overgeneralize much?

Alabama v. Ali Baba.  That’s rich.

Tim “I’m an Irish” James, Republican (for now) candidate for governor of Alabama, on The O’Reilly Factor, 29 April 2010. Juan Williams tosses James some softball questions targeting the perceived xenophobic and racist tone of the candidate’s recent TV commercial.

My social media avatars: Young Me, Drawn Me, my literary ideal. But the damned mirror shows my true place on the entropic timeline.

This editorial parody of the Tim James ‘language’ ad was linked from a Los Angeles Times online article on Monday, 27 April 2010.

Funny, especially if your humor tastes lean toward the sophomoric.  Mine obviously can…and often does.

[Written to Alice in Frankfort, Indiana. Return addressed: Richard, Co. G, 2nd Bn., 1st Mar., c/o F.P.O., San Francisco, Calif. Postmarked at U.S. Navy, on 9 Nov 1944, A.M. Envelope stamped on front, “Passed by Naval Censor,” and initialed by the Censor.]

November 7, 1944

Hello Sweetheart,

     I want to write you tonight, but I don’t know yet how it will th turn out.  I’m not in the mood for writting.  Quite a few things have happened since I last wrote you.  I spent one week working.  I was on a work detail every day of the week with the exception of Saturday and Sunday.  Saturday, I spent 8 hours walking guard.  This last week has been a week of changes.  I was in a rifle platoon as assistant automatic rifleman.  Then, I was transferred to Hdqs. Plt. and given a flame thrower.  The same day I was called up for an interview about getting into radio work.  At the time, I didn’t particularly care what I was in; that is, I had no special choice.  That’s what I told them anyway and now I’m afraid I’ll be transferred and I deff definitely don’t want that.  I’m happy where I am now.  Two days after this all happened, I was called into the 1st Sgt. office; and he asked me what qualifications I had for a clerk.  I told him about the bookkeeping I did for Dad at the shop.  So, I am now Company Clerk.  It’s a good job.  Most of the time I don’t have much to do but answer the phone.  Other times, though, I’m pretty busy.  Like today for instance, I was in the office almost 8 hours and I took very little time off.  Most of the time I’m sitting down at a desk (that’s what they call it, anyway); and, since I’m now used to that, I’m pretty tired.  I don’t think I’d be near as tired if I’d been out running around all day.  I’m not griping though.  I like it.

     We signed the payroll to-day.  FINALLY!  It’s a relief to know that they do have my name on the payroll.  I was beginning to doubt it seriously.  I don’t know for sure, but I imagine we will get paid tomorrow.  Anyway, as soon as I do, you can be watching the mails for a money order for $100.  I guess that’s all the money I’ve earned in 5½ months.  I aksed for all the money I had coming and that’s what they say I have on the books.

     How’s the bank account coming along?  There is one, isn’t there?  It’s rather bad when I don’t get any mail.  I don’t know what’s going on back there.  I’ve been getting mail from the folks and they haven’t heard from you.  So, I just have to guess that everything is all right.  These letters that I have received from the folks have been addressed to Pendleton and forwarded on to me here.  I have received one letter from you though.  That letter you wrote Aug. 8 and addressed to the Re-classification Center finally caught up with me.  I can’t understand it, I sent you my new address about 4 days before I sent it to the folks and I received a letter about 2 days ago from them with that address on it.  You are writting me Air Mail, aren’t you?  That’s how their letter came through.  I keep expecting a letter from you every day and I’m about to drive the mail clerk crazy asking about my mail.  Maybe I’ll get a bag full of mail one of these days.  I’m hoping and waiting rather impatiently.

     Sweetheart, I miss you terribly and I’d like to hear from you so bad.  I have two letters from you that I received back at Pendleton and I’ve almost worn them out reading and re-reading them.  They are very nice letters but I would like to read a more up-to-date one.

     I’m rather ashamed of myself because I haven’t written you more often.  In my spare moments, I relax and think about you and the fun we have had.  Then once I get started, I don’t want to stop and I can’t get myself to sit down and write.  You know how well I like to write letters anyway.  I love you Sweetheart.  I wonder if you think about the same things that I do.  I like to remember the first time you played the first full round on the school’s gold course.  That was quite a game.  And the times we went bowling.  Do you remember, as if you would ever forget, how happy you were that night you beat me.  While you’re remembering that night, don’t forget that that was the highest game you ever rolled and that you only beat me by one pin.  Oh well, I think I got as much enjoyment out of that as you did.  And the swimming – I can’t leave that out.  When I’d wait for you in the car in front of the gym and everythbody would come out but you – Then, you would come running down the steps and jump into the car.  Your hair would always be dripping and running wild.  Then you would get unhappy with it and finally get disgusted and forget about it.  You were “a wet, little chicken.”  Now, where did I pick that up?  You were beautiful, Sweetheart.  You might not have thought so at the time but I did.  Then, it always seemed like about the first thing you would think about was getting something to eat.  And I would always disappoint you and go to the Tripple X in stead of the Sweet Shop.  You didn’t mind too much though, did you?  Of course, I couldn’t think about you without the West Stadium Ave. entering into my thoughts.  That was a pretty little spot and with you there beside me, it was perfect.  If we could only go out there tonight.  And the night of Feb. 29 – you said that I was so nervous that I almost shook off my shoes.  But I think you were so surprised that you came nearer to losing your shoes than I did.  Are you still disappointed because I didn’t get you the roses that day?  Do you know what will take place 2 days from the time I’m writting this letter?  It will be exactly 6 months – ½ year.  It makes it sound longer when expressed in terms of years but it was not so long ago.  I’ve done a lot of thinking since I’ve been over here, Sweetheart.  There is one song that sticks in my mind.  I can’t seem to forget it.  It’s name is “Time Waits for No One.”  That song has more truth in it than any song I ever heard.  I’m so very thankful that we did things the way we did.  I was a little skeptical at the thi time, I know, but I’m glad now.

     When I close my letters, Sweetheart, I don’t just put down the same thing because it is customary.  I mean every word of it and I think over and over what I say.  I love you Sweetheart.  I love you with all my heart and soul.

     Goodnight Sweetheart.
          Pleasant Dreams
               I love you  x x
                    ‘Nite  x x

[audio:Geraldo_and_His_Orchestra___Time_Waits_for_No_One.mp3]
“Time Waits for No One” by Geraldo & His Orchestra (circa 1930-1945)

Little people often have oversized reactions to tiny situations, leading to enormous consequences with small chances of resolution.