Spitball Army

It’s then it hits you she was just the dregs
All you wanna do now is break her legs
Kick that brunette into a pond
Replace her with a platinum blonde

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I swear I am not making this up. If the iPod had eyes, it would have winked at me when I whipped my head around toward it in astonishment.

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Yes, it is true, according to baby-names.adoption.com. Hussein is an Arabic name for a male, and it means “handsome one.”

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– I’m a hag lamb, I’m a bran. [So, that’s where they get bran.]

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– Jesus! I’m a ranked force! [Ranked near the bottom of the list, anyway.]

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When I picked up the edition from the 24th and pulled the blue plastic bag from it, a bitter acid smell slapped me in the face. I immediately dropped the bag, looked at my hand and, raising it to my nose, got blasted once again by the unmistakable stench of cat urine.

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You’ve got to love a place that states upfront that they’ll only answer the phone when they’re in the mood! My dining companion told me that Bill Clinton is rumored to have stopped here to get his fast-food/junk-food fix on the way up to Myrtle Beach. I’m sure he loved it.

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There has since appeared another version of this same video, with the cat voices dubbed with burping and other sounds of bodily functions (just like in Blazing Saddles). I laughed again. My Dad, if he were around, would have laughed even harder than me.

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The collection is worth millions of dollars — Mawhinney’s personal estimate is at least $50 million — but he has received only one solid offer. That bid of $28.5 million fell through. Other parties have shown interest, and Mawhinney says he continues to talk to a few interested parties. He has set of goal of selling the collection by March 1.

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“We’re talking about making a holiday record, with Christmas songs on one side and Hanukkah songs on the other. She’s got songs called, like, Kosher Kisses and Alone Under the Mistletoe. She was kind of f**king around, but I was like, ‘You have all these amazing records to play for Christmas, like Motown and Carla Thomas and the Charlie Brown Christmas, and unfortunately, us Jews have nothing that cool to listen to. So we should do something.”

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