Spitball Army

Dear Spitball Army,

I read with interest your recipe for blueberry glace pie, and was wondering if you have ever tried that recipe with any other fruits as the main ingredient? I attempted to make the pie according to your recipe, but substituted powdered sugar for corn starch and created a runny mess. Lesson learned. Please let me know about the other fruits for the pie. I am specifically thinking about grapefruits.

Sincerely,
Fruit Sweet
Ventura, California

Dear Fruit,

If your idea of an appetizing dessert is some tart citrus wedges amassed in a gelatinous mold lined with crust, by all means GO FOR IT! I remember such confections, sans crust, from my childhood. They tended to be made of transparent green jello with chunks of pineapple jammed inside. Not quite beautiful to look at, a bit jiggly (thus somewhat titillating), but refreshing on a hot day if you ate it before it had a chance to melt.

I have never tried other fruits in that pie recipe, but think that bananas or peaches might be fun to try – to eat, at least. If you do try to cook either of those in the future, please attempt making the pie at least three times to perfect the ingredient ratios. Then, once it is perfect, please forward the recipe on to me. Thank you.

As for the powdered sugar faux pas, you have taught yourself a valuable lesson. I recall my mother making her famous chili con carne once, and adding what she thought was corn starch at the end of the cooking process to give it a bit more thickness (the better to stay on the tortilla, don’t you know!). When that didn’t work, she added some more, then some more, and then a bit more. After emptying most of the remaining corn starch into the chili pot, she noticed that the box was labeled “Powdered Sugar.” All of those yellow pantry boxes looked the same, anyway. She decided to pretend that nothing was amiss, and presented my father with a lake of chili on a plate, accompanied by her apologies for the runny stew. Ah, yes…the day my mother invented “sweet” chili, which, despite an initial launch offered by my Dad (from tabletop to wastebasket), never really took off.

Yo ho ho and a box of Argo,
Spitball