Spitball Army

It’s then it hits you she was just the dregs
All you wanna do now is break her legs
Kick that brunette into a pond
Replace her with a platinum blonde

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I swear I am not making this up. If the iPod had eyes, it would have winked at me when I whipped my head around toward it in astonishment.

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The collection is worth millions of dollars — Mawhinney’s personal estimate is at least $50 million — but he has received only one solid offer. That bid of $28.5 million fell through. Other parties have shown interest, and Mawhinney says he continues to talk to a few interested parties. He has set of goal of selling the collection by March 1.

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“We’re talking about making a holiday record, with Christmas songs on one side and Hanukkah songs on the other. She’s got songs called, like, Kosher Kisses and Alone Under the Mistletoe. She was kind of f**king around, but I was like, ‘You have all these amazing records to play for Christmas, like Motown and Carla Thomas and the Charlie Brown Christmas, and unfortunately, us Jews have nothing that cool to listen to. So we should do something.”

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It sure is a good thing that most opera-goers already know the plot of the piece, because if one was planning on going to see this performance of Tosca to find out what happens in the story, there would be no surprise!

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At the time it was popular, at least when it was initially popular, there didn’t really seem to be much wrong with disco music. It served a purpose – dancing and partying and socializing – that wasn’t particularly well-served by soft rock or punk rock. When its cousin, new wave music, came on the scene – there was a reasonable alternative available. But, there is nothing more soothing at the end of a day of processing mathemaical equations and psychological theory than a steady, relentless rhythmic beat churned out by a machine accompanied by one-dimensional repetitive lyrics – yes, I was in college during this time.

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Points of reference:
Jimmy Carter’s presidency was from 1977 to 1981.
This recording was made in 1984.
Bill Clinton’s presidency was from 1993 to 2001.

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If you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the recording is a disaster. It sounds as if a thick blanket has been wrapped around the piano, muffling the sound. The thought of a silencer on a gun comes to mind; maybe whoever was at the controls was trying to cover up the crime.

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Anyway, in the other room the TV is on, and the channel is tuned in to the Grammy Awards. I know, I’m a loser, and I said earlier that it would have to take something really special to get me to tune in. In a way, I am kind of glad I did, as I got to hear Kanye West complain about getting rushed off the stage, and how he “owns” the Grammys and all. As if some people only put out records so that they can win awards. If you had heard him “sing” earlier in the evening (I had the pleasure of only having to hear him), you would know that he won’t be winning any awards at Juilliard (if they even give out awards for what he does) or some other such institution that knows what excellence in music really is.

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Amy Winehouse will not attend this year’s Grammy Awards because her request for a visa was denied, but she will perform by satellite at Sunday’s ceremony in Los Angeles.

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