Spitball Army

We stood on the South Rim, watching a lightning storm miles to the north. As we clutched cocoa in our mittens, it began to snow.

Leaping out of bed, she thinks: Today is the day that I read Kierkegaard. She brews some coffee and sits down to work a Sudoku.

17…18..19,20! She opens her eyes. Down the hallway, her sister hangs breathlessly in the laundry chute, covered by a bathmat.

Holy time capsule!  Where did some of these artists go?  Rees Shad?  Gillman Deaville?  (Who is Rees Shad, anyway?)  Gillman Deaville was a folk duo: two women, Jane Gillman and Darcie Deaville, who remind me of the Roche sisters with their plain-spoken vocals and rough harmonies just enough out of the range of convention to make a listener perk up and notice.  After listening again to “Face in the Moon,” I feel the need to find this entire CD again, but I fear it is no longer in my collection.  My heart “cries like a saxophone.”

[audio:Gillman_Deaville___Face_in_the_Moon.mp3]
“Face in the Moon” (1994) by Gillman Deaville, from Ways to Fly

It looks like I was also listening to David Bowie’s Black Tie White Noise a lot back in June of 1998.  And the other David – Dave Alvin – and his Blackjack David, which is still an album I spin from time to time.

The Thomas Dolby track appeared on my radar courtesy of local DJ Coyote J Calhoun.  Even though there seems to be a Coyote J Calhoun in several other markets, the Birmingham, Alabama version of Coyote J was (and is) a very kind and excitable fellow whose personal musical tastes swing toward Baroque opera.  On the airwaves, his musical scene is completely different, smathered over with dark goth/death/techno/house stuff that really doesn’t fit any of those labels.  His boutique show, sponsored by my record store for several years, came on very late at night, after the average folks had gone to bed and the “vampires” were just starting to rouse.  Artists like Thomas Dolby were the tame ones on Coyote’s show, which was called “The Edge” (perfect tie-in to a store with the name “Laser’s Edge”).

[audio:Thomas_Dolby___I_Love_You_Goodbye.mp3]
“I Love You Goodbye” (1992) by Thomas Dolby, from Astronauts & Heretics

There are also several musical artifacts from my early youth on this tape compilation.  Jesse Colin Young’s “Ridgetop” was the centerpiece of his Song for Juli, one of many albums that were instrumental in forming my musical sensibility, and that were “borrowed” from the LP library of my oldest sister.  That Supertramp song is from their Breakfast in America, which is soooo high school for me.  But the oddest inclusion is the final track on the cassette.

A collective of Jewish comedians and actors released an LP of short comic sketches similar to those you could expect to hear in a Manhattan nightclub or in the Catskills.  I heard some of them on Sunday nights, when I would strain to hear the sounds of the Dr. Demento radio show drifting out of my transistor radio.  The L.A. station KMET would broadcast his show live, and we could just barely pick it up in north San Diego county.  It was there that I had my first experiences with songs like Benny Bell’s “Shaving Cream,” Tom Lehrer’s “Vatican Rag” and Frank Gallop’s “The Ballad of Irving.”  Gallop was a member of the aforementioned Jewish collective, whose record albums were entitled “You Don’t Have to Be Jewish” and “When You’re in Love the Whole World Is Jewish.”  I never heard “Quickies,” the song included on this tape, on Dr. Demento’s program, but his show is what guided me to buy the record in the first place.  Or maybe it was my fascination with Jungle Judy, his sexy and unseen co-host.  [Turns out, I no longer have this CD either, so in place of “Quickies” I’m posting “The Ballad of Irving”…for your politically incorrect listening pleasure.]

[audio:Frank_Gallop___The_Ballad_of_Irving.mp3]
“The Ballad of Irving,” by Frank Gallop, from When You’re in Love the Whole World is Jewish (196?)

“Subway people won’t look at you,” Dad said, first trip to Boston. As a challenge, he’d extend his lower lip and stare them down.

This recipe has evolved from several attempts to create a tomato-less relish that can be used for multiple purposes.  Not that I have anything against tomatoes, and I’ll readily admit that a well-made fresh tomato-based salsa is hard to beat.  But I am not a huge fan of the red fruit, and will avoid a tomatoey pasta sauce when there are other options available.

This avocado-based concoction is versatile.  It is a tasty addition to chicken dishes, as a garnish to a salad, as a sidecar to a bite of grilled steak, or in the standard chips-and-salsa mode.  If I still lived in my family’s second home in California – next door to a large avocado grove – I would be eating this weekly.  As it is, I will have to satisfy my urge to use this salsa on everything I eat only during “season” (which is to say, summer and fall).  If you are able to get these ingredients fresh year-round, celebrate; if not, it is pretty easy to make substitutions (frozen corn, lime juice in the little green plastic bottle, etc.).  Meanwhile, always remember that, in this particular case, “fresh” makes the best end product.

This is a heatless recipe.  Don’t prepare it more than a day before its intended use; otherwise the salsa becomes quite oniony while sitting in the refrigerator (though that problem could probably be avoided by using about half the suggested amount of onion).  Extended stays in the refrigerator will cause the crispy ingredients (bell pepper, onion, corn) to become soft, and the avocado to become mushy and brown (additional lime juice helps prevent the color change, but tarts the salsa up).

Ingredients (makes enough avocado salsa to fill a small cereal bowl):
– 2 avocados (Hass variety are best, and signal their ripeness when the pebbled skin has turned black)
– Juice of 1 lime
– 1/3 to 1/2 of a red onion
– 1/2 of a red bell pepper
– 1 cob of freshly-sheared corn (use white corn if sweeter taste preferred; makes about 3/4 to 1 cup of kernels)
– 1/2 bunch of cilantro
– Salt and pepper

Instructions:
De-seed the avocado, scoop the flesh from the skin, and dice the avocado flesh (be wary of cutting the avocado too finely, as the resulting mixture will become guacamole!)  Place in a bowl and mix immediately with the lime juice.

Dice the onion and red bell pepper (de-seed the bell pepper).  Add both to the bowl.

Shear the corn cob.  Break up any conjoined kernels and add these to the bowl, also.

Chop the cilantro leaves (the fewer stems, the better).  Be sure not to chop this herb too finely, as the taste of a partial leaf is a tangy surprise.  Add to the mixture.

Gently mix all of the ingredients together.  Add pepper and salt to taste (do not over-salt, as it can mask the flavors of the cilantro and corn).