Spitball Army

If we only used questionable judgment to pick our favorites, then, from the pantheon of favorite songs (sorted by topic area), here would be some of mine:

1. My favorite song about recidivism:  “Do It Again” by Steely Dan.

Sample lyric:

In the mornin’ you go gunnin’
For the man who stole your water
And you fire till he is done in
But they catch you at the border
And the mourners are all singin’
As they drag you by your feet
But the hangman isn’t hangin’
So they put you on the street.

2. My favorite song about the Mexican Revolution:  “Fernando” by ABBA.

Sample lyric:

Now we’re old and grey, Fernando
And since many years I haven’t seen a rifle in your hand
Can you hear the drums Fernando?
Do you still recall the frightful night we crossed the Rio Grande?
I can see it in your eyes
How proud you were to fight for freedom in this land. 

3. My favorite song about cannibalism:  “Timothy” by The Buoys.  I don’t believe the explanation that Timothy was a pack mule.

Sample lyric:

Trapped in a mine that had caved in
And everyone knows the only ones left
Were Joe and me and Tim
When they broke through to pull us free
The only ones left to tell the tale
Were Joe and me…

…I must have blacked out just around then
‘Cause the very next thing that I could see
Was the light of the day again
My stomach was full as it could be
And nobody ever got around
To finding Timothy.

[audio:Buoys___Timothy.mp3]

4. My favorite 8-minute song about a mass murderer:  “Ticking” by Elton John.

Sample lyric:

They had you holed up in a downtown bar screaming for a priest
Some gook said “His brain’s just snapped,” then someone called the police
You’d knifed a Negro waiter who had tried to calm you down
You pulled a gun and told them all to lay still on the ground.

[audio:Elton_John___Ticking.mp3]

5. My favorite song about a dead little girl and her equally dead puppy (I have so many favorites in this category!): “Me and Little Andy” by Dolly Parton.

Sample lyric:

She was just a little girl, not more than six or seven
But that night as they slept the angels took them both to heaven
God knew Little Andy would be lonesome with her gone
Now Sandy and her puppy dog won’t ever be alone.

[audio:Dolly_Parton___Me_and_Little_Andy.mp3]